After he passed away the grief was so strong it completely takes over your body and uses up so much energy… it’s completely indescribable. I’ve lost people I’ve loved (grandparents and others that I was close with) but this loss was so big and close to me, not to mention unexpected, it took such a toll on me. Once I returned to work I needed that slight amount of energy to get through my work day and then I would come home and nap. Grieving really is that exhausting… I had no desire to cook or exercise which are two of my favorite activities, both of which I generally find very therapeutic.
I’ve been trying to take time for myself and healing… it’s weird to not have any energy or desire to run or workout-I usually get so excited for exercise. So many things matter so much less than they did before. I really want to do the marathon though- I know my dad would be so proud of that, so that’s my main goal for the fall, once I get the rest of the pieces of my life back together.